Least Favorite Band – The Black Eyed Peas

Black Eyed PeasIt’s no secret who my least favorite band is. Ever since the Black Eyed Peas unleashed “My Humps” upon the world, I felt compelled to battle all that was wrong with today’s pop music – inane lyrics, tuneless melodies and rapping, and an emphasis of style over substance.

The Black Eyed Peas encompass all of the above. They are a boil on the buttocks of music, somehow having convinced the music-buying public – either through some means of sorcery or a pact with Satan – that they are relevant and hip. Hell, Fergie even peed in her pants during a concert once, but the Pea juggernaut (pun not intended) continued.

Seriously, anything goes for them. They can say the dumbest things in a song, and hardly anyone calls them on it. FunnyCrave ranted about the most retarded Black Eyed Peas lyrics, and some actually tried to defend the lyric “Let me f— up your ear till my sperm is up in your brain.”  Other BEP winners include:

  • “We gonna break it on down / Rub it on your belly like a ultrasound”
  • “Can you feel it in your body-ah (can you feel it) / Coz I can feel it in my body-ah (I can feel it) /It feels good to my body-ah”
  • “Bebot bebot Be bebot bebot Be bebot bebot be”

I did not search long for these lyrics; in fact, they were chosen randomly from a list of Black Eyed Peas songs. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Even on those rare occasions when they happen to get a catchy hook – I must admit to humming “I Gotta Feeling” on occasion and then slapping myself silly – the lyrics prevent you from actually singing it in public for fear of someone mistaking you for a mental patient: “Let’s do it, let’s do it, Let’s do it, Let’s do it, and do it, and do it…”

Usually I will post a video or audio clip to provide context. Given my hatred for the Black Eyed Peas’ “music,” I refuse to subject you to one measure of their music for fear of a loss of hearing or, even worse, precious brain cells. Instead, I give you a recent clip from South Park in which Stan’s father, Randy, refuses to accept that a new boy band’s music sounds like crap – literally. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it better than “Boom Boom Pow,” and it makes just as much sense.

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